Elsie Baker is a 134-year-old vampire in the body of a 9-year-old girl. Sick and tired of stupid adults treating her like a lost little girl and not letting her buy cigarettes, Elsie decides to hire a babysitter to be her chaperone. Enter Brenda Zielinski, a suicidal teenager in search of some quick cash so she can buy a one-way ticket to Scotland to jump off a cliff. Despite the generous payday, it turns out that babysitting a vampire might be more trouble than it's worth.